I'm too old for this poop.

My darling, precious boy, in an obvious attempt to inoculate us all against work-a-day pathogens, is spreading our environment with a fine layer of poop.  His poop, somebody elses's poop, it doesn't matter.  Poop is poop, and poop is AWESOME. 

I throw away as many of the poop begrimed items as I can, as this serves two purposes: I declutter, and I get to say, in a voice of calmest ferocity, "See this?  It is covered in poop.  It's going in the trash."  Then I clean, and as I do, my darling, precious boy does not get to watch (ha-HA), because that would be entertaining.  No, he must sit in the corner with his back to me, except when I demand his attention to say, "See this?  It is covered in poop.  It's going in the trash."

So, my gift to you is this, something you could have found if you googled it.  You're welcome.


Oh, and I made lacto-fermented okra pickles.

Yes, I washed my hands first. Gah!

Inspiration!

I was watching a series of WAPF videos I found on Dyno-Mom's blog when my husband came in and started watching with me.  The videos are of a press conference WAPF held in response to the FDA's nutritional guidelines.  Anyway, my husband actually stayed and watched them all, over an hour's worth of viewing.  Now he is surprisingly enthusiastic about reforming our diets.  Yay!

Back on the Wagon

It's disgusting to me that the only way I seem to be able to accomplish anything, in this case dieting, is by obsessing over it.  I mean nothing I do gets done unless I charge it like Hamburger Hill.  So, here I am, back to the only thing that ever works, but dadgum is it so unpleasant, counting calories.  Eyeballing, weighing, measuring, logging, and always, the nagging hunger.  Food is all I think about, and my pride won't allow me to say the words that are scrolling through my head like a news ticker:

I'm hungry. I'm hungry, I'm hungry.

The only thing I can say about this method, besides the fact that gosh dog it, it works, is that it gives me a feeling of control, and the hunger lets me know it's working. Cuss, though, I wish I had the self control to just be sensible.  Ironic, isn't it; I have the will to be ascetic but not to be comfortably restrained. 

Banana Shake

Banana Shake
Serves: 1

Ingredients:
1 cup whole milk (raw, if you're into that)
1 banana, chunked (preferably frozen)
grate of nutmeg
sprinkle of cinnamon
few drops vanilla extract

Blitz the above in a blender until smooth and creamy.  Enjoy.

For a chocolate shake, add 1 tsp. cocoa, or more to taste.

Cinnamon Cake with Cream Cheese Icing

Cinnamon Cake with Cream Cheese Icing (w/egg-free variation)*
Yield: 2 8" rounds or 24 cupcakes, plus icing enough for all

Cake:
3/4 cup butter
1 3/4 cup sugar
2 eggs (I used 2 Tbsp. ground flaxseed heated in 6 Tbsp. water until thick)
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
2 1/2 cups flour
1 1/4 cups milk

Icing:
12 ounces cream cheese
3/4 cup butter
6 cups confectioners sugar

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F, and grease and flour your cake pans, or line your muffin tins with cupcake cups.  Cream together butter and sugar, then add eggs, one at a time, and vanilla.  Whip until fluffy.  In a medium bowl, combine cinnamon, salt, baking powder and flour.  Add half the flour mixture to the butter/sugar and stir to incorporate, then add milk, then the other half of the flour mixture.  Spoon batter into cake pans or muffin cups.  Bake about 15 - 20 minutes, until the center of the cake springs back when touched.  Let cake rest 5 minutes before removing from pan to cool.  Make sure icing ingredients are out and coming to room temperature.

When cake is completely cool, whip icing ingredients together until spreadable.  Ice cake and enjoy.

*I made this cake for my son's fourth birthday (I made the egg-free version in deference to his allergies) and it was well-liked.  The cinnamon taste is mild; the flavor of the cake is comparable to that of a snickerdoodle cookie.  I ate the last piece of cake a week after making it and was surprised to find it every bit as good as it was the day I made it, if not better.

Coconuts?

Giving up sugar worked pretty well for the four or five days I was able to do it.  I did lose two pounds, but by Friday I gave in and finished the leftover birthday cake from last Friday (!!!), and you know what? It was heaven.  By the way, I'm going to give you the cake recipe because it was just as good, if not better, than the day I made it.  Back to the sugar thing though, I'm going to try to keep it reasonable.  I'll try to only eat sugar sitting down.  I know, I should only eat anything sitting down.  Baby steps.

I've decided to incorporate virgin coconut oil into my diet. I'm curious about it's purported metabolism-raising properties. I'm going to start by adding a tablespoon to my banana shake in the morning.  I'll keep you posted.  I start a lot of sentences with "I."

Sugar-free Me

My first step toward my goal is to wean myself off sugar for awhile.  I figure if I can keep from downing a Keebler Chip-tastic, or whatever they're called, every friggin five minutes, that should be good for a weekly pound of weight loss right there.  This week, I've sworn off desserts and sodas (or, as we say Down South, cokes.)  Next week, I'll add overly sweetened stuff, like store-bought yogurt cups and sech.  Then anything with added sugar.  I haven't decided if I'm going balls-to-the-wall and nixing white flour.  We'll see.
BTW, that brings me to recipe number one.  It's my second day sweetless, and I wanted something to calm my nerves, so I made a:

Banana Shake
Serves: 1

Ingredients:
1 cup whole milk (raw, if you're into that)
1 banana, chunked (preferably frozen)
grate of nutmeg
sprinkle of cinnamon
few drops vanilla extract

Blitz the above in a blender until smooth and creamy.  Enjoy.